My ex-boyfriend and I had been playing with femdom tease and denial for a long time. Cumming hands. free was one of his biggest fantasies, and the idea turned me on just as much.
After doing some research and gathering ideas, this is what I came up with.
I’d tell him to get completely naked and start jerking off in front of me while I took a dildo and placed it right next to his cock. Then I instructed him to mirror every single motion I made on the dildo. When I stroked the shaft, he stroked his shaft. When I sucked the tip, he massaged the head, and so on.
He was only allowed to ruin his orgasms. He would edge right to the point of no return, let go of his cock, and I would keep stroking the dildo.
I added one little psychological trick that worked like magic. After he let go, I told him to try to hold it in with everything he had, like his life depended on it. He would always fail, and that created a powerful connection in his brain: no matter how hard he tried not to cum, my hands and mouth on that dildo meant he was going to explode.
In the beginning there were only a couple of seconds between him letting go and shooting his load. But after a month of training, he could hold it for up to twenty seconds – desperately fighting it, failing every time, all while watching me work the dildo with my hands and mouth.
After that I introduced a cage and cut back on the number of sessions, focusing on quality instead of quantity. I made sure he was throbbing and desperate every single time.
Once he was locked up, we did a session once every four days on average, with zero contact in between, for another month. That turned out to be the perfect rhythm for him. The long build up meant he would cum within a couple of minutes, sometimes even faster.
Now that I had trained him to cum prematurely and ruin his orgasm with a long “hang time,” it was time for the next big step.
He stayed locked up the rest of the time (I only unlocked him for hygiene or sleeping). The only difference now was that he was only allowed to edge by mirroring my movements on the dildo, and with every session I gave him less and less time to actually touch his cock.
While he wasn’t touching, I told him to stay hyperfocused on exactly what I was doing – whether my tongue was sliding up and down the shaft or I was stroking the head. I made him visualize every movement on his own cock. Basically the same game as before, except now he was using only his mind to feel it.
Soon I stopped letting him touch at all. He would just lie there, cock throbbing and leaking uncontrollably, while I worked the dildo. We talked dirty to each other as if the dildo really was his cock.
After five more weeks of this, something magical happened. I was slobbering all over the dildo, telling him how good his cock tasted, when suddenly ropes of cum shot up and landed on his chest. I was so excited I immediately took him in my mouth for real, gave him a proper orgasm, and finished with some post orgasm torture. It was an incredible sight.
For anyone working on hands-free orgasms, here’s what I learned: the most important thing is to build a strong mental foundation and not put too much pressure on the goal. Both of you have to genuinely enjoy the process. Yes, the aim is to cum hands free, but if you get too stuck in your head and try to force it, you’ll only set yourself back.
In my experience it’s almost entirely psychological. Physical build-up helps a lot, but your body has other ways to release that tension (like wet dreams). From the very beginning I told my boyfriend to forget about the end goal and just dive deep into the endless tease and denial. At the end of the day it’s not a homework assignment – it’s about exploring and enjoying the journey.
Hope you enjoyed my experience. Who knows, maybe you’ll even find it useful.